Monday, July 10, 2006
im really disappointed angry and sad.
im sorry. im so so dearly sorry.
the first thing that came to my mind was :
IM REALLY SORRY.
i failed all your expectations and i didnt even earn a single point for the school.
dont even talk about the medal. or anything near that.
all the faith you all had in me.
everything.
i just felt that i disappointed everyone.
including myself.
what went wrong?
is it the flu?
thats wat daddy&mummy keep saying.
but
no excuses.
is my best simply not enough ?
that where did the 11.56 come from last year?
what is going on???
i thought i trusted Him.
maybe i didnt.
maybe my faith isnt strong enough.
sigh, tmr's the 1.5k. what should i do ?
i dont exactly have the strongest mental strength now.
i thought i was confident enough.
i tried. tried really hard to push out all negative thoughts.
all lousy feelings about myself.
but when the question came, are you ready?
why did i say no so quickly?
am i really unready ?
maybe i didnt train hard enough. which, i didnt.
but. whatever.
im just really sorry.
its not only my race. but a race FOR nanyang it was THE race that really mattered.
im so so sry ):
its hard to push all the disappointment out of my mind and go for the 1500 tmr. but i promise ill try my best. all i hope for is that my best is enough. He will do the rest.
living for God/